


The Untold Stories of the USS Enterprise

by BowtiesDeerstalkersTrenchcoats



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Chekov being adorable, Crack, Drunk Singing, Fluff and Crack, Karaoke, M/M, One Shot Collection, Silly One Shots, absolute crack, but idk, i know they are really short, immature kirk, kirk vs uhura karaoke, sassy kirk, spirk, spirk fluff, spock being the mom friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8294959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowtiesDeerstalkersTrenchcoats/pseuds/BowtiesDeerstalkersTrenchcoats
Summary: An impatient, childish captain and his crew. A collection of one-shots.





	1. Cookies

“Captain we…“ Sulu trailed away, looking towards his Captain, who had his legs up on the arm of his chair, his mouth full of cookie, crumbs around his mouth.  
“Are those, cookies?”  
“Yup.” Kirk stated, his mouth full.  
Chekov leaned against the desk and sighed. On her five-year expedition through uncharted space, the Enterprise encountered many interesting, strange and exciting things, but much of space was empty, and the Captain was not known for his patience.  
“Want one?” Kirk asked Sulu.  
“A cookie?”  
“Yep.”  
“If you don’t mind.” Sulu smiled.  
He threw the cookie to the Lieutenant, who caught it and took a bite.  
Kirk had eaten his last cookie, with a groan, he got out of his chair and said:  
“I’ll be right back.”  
He left the bridge and about a minute later, he came back with another large box of cookies, Chekov muttered, “Keptin on ze brig.” But no one really took notice.  
Kirk sat back in his chair, took out a cookie and ate it. He swung his legs up onto the arm of the chair.  
“May I haf one, keptin?” Chekov turned to ask.  
“Sure.” Kirk threw one to Chekov.  
“May please I have one?” Chatter rang through the bridge. Soon everyone on the bridge was chewing a chocolate-chip cookie.

“These are good!” Exclaimed Sulu.  
“How many boxes do you have?” Uhura inquired, rolling her eyes at the immaturity of the captain.  
“Far too many.” Kirk smiled.


	2. Karaoke Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk gets sassy and orders karaoke night.

The crew on the bridge had taken a break to have dinner, and an unusual conversation had started. 

“You know,” Kirk began, “I’m, well, pretty well known for singing back in my hometown.” He tried* not to boast as he spoke.  
“I’m not so bad myself.” Uhura said, smiling  
Kirks eyes widened. “Is that a challenge?”  
“Maybe. But it’s not a challenge if I’ve already won.” Uhura said smugly.  
“Oh!” Kirk sassed. “Well.” He stood up and announced. “I declare Karaoke night, tonight, to show Lieutenant Uhura here who is the best at singing.”  
Everyone glanced towards each other, wondering if their Captain had finally lost his sanity.  
“Captain I think you should consider this befo-“  
“Spock.” Jim interrupted. “I have thought this through very carefully.”  
“But-“  
“Captains orders.”  
Spock gave up. He knew that however illogical Jim’s idea was, he wouldn’t be able to stop him. He sighed.   
“Sulu!” Kirk pointed towards the lieutenant. “You’re on my team.”  
Uhura looked at Kirk disapprovingly, before turning to the Scotsman behind her. “Scotty, you’re on my team.” She had heard that Scotty didn’t like music, but often heard him singing while he worked. “And Chekov.” She added.  
Without taking his gaze off Uhura, Kirk stated, smiling evily, “You’re on my team too, Bones.”

He almost spat out his coffee, he must have not expected to be apart of this.   
“I can’t sing!”  
“Well you can be a backup dancer.”  
“Dammit Jim I’m a doctor, not a ballerina!” He complained.

***

“THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTNING!” Kirk ‘sang’.   
“VERY VERY FRIGHTNING, ME!” It was only about an hour ago that Doctor McCoy insisted that he could not, and would not sing, but alcohol and a microphone was a bad combination.   
“GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO!” Sulu belted out. He had insisted that he wouldn’t have anything to drink, but that didn’t last long.   
“Galileo Figaro.” Kirk sang in a very deep voice.  
“Magifiiicoooo!”  
“I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me.”  
“HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY!”  
“SPARE HIM HE LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROCITY!”  
Suddenly Chekov burst into the room with another microphone.  
“MAMMA MIA MAMMA MIA MAMMA MIA LET HIM GO!”  
And Scotty behind him.  
“BEEAAAAAZEBUL HAS THE DEVIL PUT ASIDE FOR MEEE FOR MEEEEEEE!”  
And they sang together  
“FOR MEEEE FOR MEEEEE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”   
The door burst open, a deafening guitar solo rang out through the room. The crew started in utter confusion, because Spock was indeed playing the electric guitar.  
“Spock?”  
“Yes Captain?”  
Kirk stood, his mouth gaped open.  
“You play the guitar?”  
Taking the strap off his shoulder, he said, “Well, since you were singing, it seemed the only logical thing to do.”  
Kirk stared for about 713958 years at Spock. This obviously had to be a dream, but it was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *He didn't really try, it's Kirk we're talking about.


	3. Chekov's Navy Rocket Pyjamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adorable sleepy Chekov... :3

“Chekov! We need you on the bridge!” The speaker on the wall of Chekov’s room buzzed. He sighed, he had been on shift all day, and he needed his sleep. He was just about to get into bed before Kirk called him onto the bridge. He went over to the wall, and pressing a button he replied, “Be right zere, keptin.”  
He sleepily made his way onto the bridge, getting strange looks from the crew members who were rushing around. The doors opened, and he sat down at his desk.  
“Uh… Chekov?” Kirk asked tentatively.   
“Да, keptin?” He said, rubbing his eyes.  
“You’re… You’re in your pajamas.”  
He looked at his clothes, realizing that he was, in fact, still in his pajamas. His navy pajamas with little rockets on them.   
“Извините! Uh, Sorry, keptin…” He sighed. “Vot did you need me for?”  
“Starfleet just sent orders to tweak our flight path, I needed you to change our course.”  
“Zat von’t take long…” he mumbled. “Uh keptin? May I pleaze stay in zeze clothes? I von’t be here long.”  
“Uh…” Kirk thought, he guessed that Chekov would be able to do it quickly, and he would be going to bed straight after. “Um, okay.”  
Completing the job in under twenty minutes, he yawned as he got up. “All done, keptin.”  
“Thank you Chekov, you can go back to your room.”  
“No problem, пока.”  
Rubbing his eyes, he left the bridge. He was too tired to care that he was walking through the Enterprise with his pajamas on. Scanning his keycard into his room, he fell straight onto his bed and fast asleep.


	4. It's just a sprain!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spirk Spirk.

Walking quickly through the crowds of people, Kirk made his way to the bridge. As he approached, the doors opened and his foot slipped, he fell face first onto the cold metal floor. He heard Uhura snigger at him from behind, to which he rolled his eyes. Putting his hand out to get up he looked up and saw Spock.   
“Captain…”  
Pulling himself up by a metal bar on the side of the room, he tried to stand on his foot, but as he put pressure on it, he pulled it back up; it hurt. Before he could look up, Spock had already picked him up and swung him over his shoulder.  
“Spock…? Put me down!”  
“Captain, you must get to medical immediately.”  
“I can get there myself.” He whined.   
“You may have broken your ankle; you do not want it to be damaged more than it already is.”  
“It’s just a sprain, Spock.”  
Spock wasn’t listening. He walked through the corridors, the two getting strange looks from the rest of crew. The captain complained, but Spock ignored him, he walked through the doors of medical, and put Jim down on an empty bed.  
Spock turned around, seeing doctor McCoy on the other side of the room. The doctor looked up, and walked over to them, a very confused look on his face.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I-“ Kirk began, but Spock interrupted.  
“I believe that the captain may have broken his ankle.”  
“How did you manage that?” McCoy scoffed.  
“I tripped on the steps to the bridge.” Kirk mumbled.  
“Sorry?”  
“I tripped on the stairs to the bridge.” He said, much, much louder, attracting the attention of the other people in the room.  
Scoffing, McCoy had a look at Jim’s ankle, once he had come to a conclusion, he said to Spock, “It’s not broken, Spock, it’s just sprained.”  
“See I told you.” Kirk muttered under his breath.  
“Y-Yes, Doctor.” Spock stuttered, his cheeks blushed a light green.  
Kirk looked up, “Spock,” he began.

“are you blushing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tehe.


End file.
